Wednesday, January 12, 2011

You stay classy, Detroit…

(313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Good ol west Michigan…

(616): whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook. (231): i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

txtsfrmlstnght:

(951): my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn’t remember. i think he understands.


stay classy, Inland Empire.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

(954): Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That’s my kind of emergency.

Yes.

Friday, May 14, 2010

(916): This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn’t belong here

I can’t wait to start DUI classes…

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

(405): I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store… I feel like I’m living in an episode of It’s Always Sunny.

Awesome.

Monday, May 3, 2010

(989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I’ll look like pregnant…run far far away

I can safely assume this was at Central Michigan University.

Good ol Michigan…

Friday, April 23, 2010

(313): Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said NOT OJ

You stay classy, Detroit.

Friday, March 5, 2010

(608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

I’m finding this girl.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Silly Canada

(651): how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

and

(940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.